Emma’s Hidden Secret

This longer tale is written in a sort of a sexy sci-fi theme, with a few comedic twists. It has an ending, but I plan to add to it. I’ve already written outlines for extensions and even spinoffs. (Hint: We don’t even get to meet Emma, yet, by the end of this.)

But for now, let’s tell the current tale, shall we?

Chapter 0:
Why I Walked Through a Swamp to the End of This Nature Trail

But it was worth it! I found Emma’s box!

Before I continue, you will need this important geocaching primer… please read it even if you understand geocaching, as there are details here specific to our story…

About Geocaching

Geocaching is a hobby to some, an intense avocation to others. Think of it as a scavenger hunt of the GPS era, where someone hides a container of some sort, and posts the GPS coordinates of its secret hiding place on one of several public geocaching websites.

Every geocache has its own rules, its own purpose. The typical geocache contains souvenir-type trinkets- a doll, a keychain, an old coin, stickers, really anything you can imagine- left behind for geocachers to visit, like tiny museums of ephemera.

Other caches also have a “take-one, leave-one” philosophy, where you take a trinket and leave a different one. Then, when you visit your next cache, you leave behind the item you took today, and so on and so on.

So… geocaching fans monitor the caching websites for caches they’d like to visit. They hunt them down, view the trinkets, maybe take one and leave one, then log in on the caching website to report their visit.

A typical website post might say, “It was easier to find than I thought it would be. I had fun seeing all the shit. Everything was in good shape, and I left it that way.”

Another internet report might read, “The thing was muggled (vandalized). I picked up the pieces I could find and put it back where I think it belonged.”

These website reports of cache visits are brief and superficial. That’s because the real visitor-to-visitor communications occur via the cache itself, where the good stuff happens. Every geocache has a paper visitor log or notebook where it’s common to leave personal notes, only for the eyes of the cache owner and visitors- secrets for their eyes only- not for the eyes of the public geocaching websites.

Also, very important here, when someone places a new geocache, they will usually leave a nice gift for the first person that finds it! This person is known as the First To Find, or FTF.

A typical container used to house a cache is typically between the size of a cigarette pack and a shoebox, although some use surplus army ammo boxes, which are known for being rugged and watertight.

One more thing… you will often see the acronym TFTC, which stands for Thanks for the Cache, the standard thank you from cache visitors to the ones creating the caches.

Like a lot of travel, the geocaching journey itself is usually the adventure, although we will soon see that upon reaching Emma’s Hidden Secret, the adventure was only just about to begin!

Chapter 1:
I Found Emma’s Box!

“I’ve just placed my first cache. I’ve hunted many, but never left one before. It is attached to the bottom of a bench, in a most unexpected place. I’ve posted the rules inside the cache, and really am hoping to build a community of visitors using trust and the honor system. The FTF (first to find) gets a present! Actually, there are two presents, a girl present, and a boy present, for the first guy and first gal to find it!”

I searched on her posted GPS coordinates for the cache, and there was good news and bad news. I was only a ten-minute drive to the nature preserve the cache was in, but the bad news was that it was placed near the end of a 1.5 mile nature trail, an elevated boardwalk above the swamp. It was a 90/90 day… over 90 degrees Fahrenheit, and 90% humidity, but I just had to be the first to find it, the FTF!

I drove. I parked. I walked. I sweated my balls off. But after walking through a mix of swamp, hammocks (swamp islands), and forest, I approached the destination represented by the little blue dot on my phone’s GPS. The promised land near the end of the boardwalk trail was a wooden-roofed hut, complete with a bench where the multitudes could presumably cool their own private parts before attempting the sauna-walk back to the parking area.

There it was. Attached to the bottom of the wooden bench was a shoebox-sized storage container, about 14 inches wide, by 6 inches high, by 6 inches deep. It was plastic with a water-tight snap-off lid, firmly hung beneath the bench using industrial-strength Velcro.

 

I tore it loose from the Velcro, and sat down to peruse the magical contents. Was I the first?

I lifted the snaps, and pried off the lid. Laminated inside the lid using clear tape were Emma’s Rules of the Cache.

Emma’s Rules of the Cache

1. In my cache there is a removable tray on top. I have divided this into a Permanent Collection section, and a Take One/Leave One section.
2. The Permanent Collection is a my stash of items for others to visit. As you know, some of these items can become legendary destinations once a cache gets famous. I’ve started it off with a Boylan’s Cane Cola bottle cap, a playing card from the Golden Nugget casino in Vegas, a polished rock from upstate New York (where I got it is a secret), and a key. I no longer have any idea what the key was for. I may add items as time goes by.
3. The Take One/Leave One stash is a location to leave a trinket, and take a trinket. When you Take One and Leave One, please document it in the log. I have started this off with a golf ball, a AA battery and a keychain from my favorite BBQ place in Texas. Whoever trades for the keychain- try the brisket sandwich. Now this is where any semblance of my cache with a normal geocache ends.
4. Underneath the removable tray, you will find two items. The first item is marked “Borrow Me”… details are within the cache. The other item is a notebook (with pen) divided into two sections, a Borrower’s Log section, and a Visitor’s Log section.
5. Please write about your “borrowing” in the Borrower’s Log, and your visit in the Visitor’s Log. In the Visitor’s Log, simply tell me and the other visitors about your experience here… The trinkets- what you took and what you left.
6. If you borrowed- please leave a detailed account of your time with the borrowed item, again, more details within. Please keep these reports only within this notebook! In other words, please only post on public geocaching websites the usual scant information, such as the time and date of your visit, and whether the cache was found in good shape. The details should only be seen by visitors here. Shhhh, it’s our little secret, you know. And yes, details about “borrowing” are within.
7. Thanks for visiting! Enjoy my geocache!
8. PS: If you are the First to Find (FTF) you will find special gifts in the Borrow Me space. One surprise gift for the first guy, and one for the first gal. Enjoy the gifts, and thanks for being my first! I also owe you the promised “details within” about the gifts, and the borrowing. These details are on the cards attached to the gifts…

• Love, Emma

Rules understood, I placed the lid to the side and peered at the top tray. Everything looked untouched, so I was hopeful about being the first visitor. Removing the tray, I looked down into the “Borrow Me” section, and found the two gifts! I was not only the first guy, but the first visitor!

Chapter 2:
Borrow Me! (Two Gifts and a Loaner)

I read the writing on the card.

“Hello First-to-Find Guy! Thanks for finding me! Your FTF gift is this bag of high-potency hydroponic weed. It weighs about an ounce, and is a token of my appreciation for making the effort to be my first. You always remember your first, and I wanted this to be special! Love, Emma”

I would need a moment to absorb this, so I proceeded to view the First-to-Find gal’s gift. It was a long slender box, which I opened to reveal a lavender-colored vibrating dildo. (Many people, including myself, use the terms vibrator and dildo interchangeably, but to be precise, a dildo is always a dildo, but not all of them vibrate. Some are just dongs. Likewise, even though many vibrators are dildos, not all of them are.)

I read Emma’s notecard for this gift.

“Hello First-to-Find Gal! This FTF gift is a bit of a misnomer, because it’s only a loaner. But you’re the first! Please enjoy it, and when you return it to the “Borrow Me” section of the cache, tell us all about it in the Borrower’s Log. Please sanitize it when done, and give it an extra wipe with the enclosed alcohol wipes. It’s dishwasher-safe! I want to hear all about the circumstances of your use. Enjoy, and thanks for being my first gal!”

If I thought I had to mentally absorb the guy’s gift, then I certainly had to take time to consider the gal’s gift.

I finally left the following note for Emma in the Visitor’s Log.

“Hi Emma,
Thank you for the FTF guy’s gift. I’m going to leave it for the next person, because I can’t use it. Although I have no qualms about responsible adults and their own use, it’s just not for me. Even though I’m thin enough, I have a huge appetite, and I can’t imagine using anything that would amplify the munchies even more. I do appreciate it though, and am leaving it here on the honor system for the first gal that finds your cache. I think it will pair well with the FTF gal’s gift, don’t you? Take care, and TFTC– Love, Fifty”

Before resealing Emma’s geocache I visited the Take One/Leave One section. I took the keychain for the Texas BBQ place (because I love a great smoked brisket), and left behind a wooden nickel token good for One Free Game at Thurston Bowling Lanes in Frankfort, NY. Thurston’s achieved national acclaim once, when it seemed that someone had stolen 150 of their house balls. I had last been there a couple of years before that happened, and had nothing to do with their disappearance.

Chapter 3:
Cannon Fire!

A few days after that first visit, I saw on the website that the next person to visit Emma’s geocache was indeed female. That would make her the first-to-find (FTF) gal, which meant she would be the recipient of both first-to-find gifts from Emma- the FTF guy gift that I left behind and the FTF gal gift awaiting her directly.

Since she visited twice, two days apart, I imagined this was because she may have indeed used and returned the FTF gal gift that Emma had provided!

This first gal visitor followed protocol by simply reporting her visits on the geocaching website, leaving no details. This meant I would have to go back to the nature park and venture again to the end of the swamp trail to check the Logs in the cache. I just had to know what happened with the FTF gifts!

I poured through the Visitor Log and the Borrower’s Log.

From the Visitor Log:
”Hello! My name is Julie. I am the female FTF of Emma’s cache, and so surprised to find two gifts waiting here for me! Hey Fifty, thank you for the “forwarding” of your own gift. I promise to make good use of it. Emma, thank you for the FTF gal gift. Because of the special circumstances, I understand that it is a loaner, but I will enjoy it thoroughly! Check the Borrower’s Log for my details, TFTC!”

I hurried to look at the Borrower’s Log:
”Emma, I loved being the first one to use the beautiful vibrating dildo that you left here as the FTF gal gift, and as a loaner to everyone else after that. Here’s how I participated in inaugurating your cache community.

“When I got home in the afternoon, I bathed and made myself comfortable, snuggling into my bed among all the fluffy pillows. Oh, wait, I almost forgot to mention that before getting started, I got baked on the FTF gift that you left for Fifty, which he left behind for me. Thank you both!

“For a soundtrack, I played the full version of Ravel’s Bolero into my headphones. Bolero lasts about sixteen minutes, repeating a sensual rhythm 169 times with an overlay of instruments that builds and repeats itself 18 times over that rhythm. It’s classical music, but was made famous in the modern era by the 1979 movie “10”, starring Bo Derek and Dudley Moore. I thought this would be ceremonial to this special occasion because in the movie, they got baked themselves and then got it on to the sounds of the Bolero.

“After this exhausting but pleasurable interlude, I had some wine and a snack, then returned to my pillows. This time I launched the 15-minute long 1812 Overture by Tchaikovsky. It was written to celebrate the successful resistance to Napoleon’s invasion of Russia and is famous for its climactic cannon-blast crescendos near the end. I had my own explosive climax at the end, celebrating only the invasion of this glorious dildo into my nether regions!

“After these long and extremely gratifying sessions, I replaced the batteries because I was certain I had almost drained them. For now, Emma, let me just say TFTC and TFTD (Thanks for the Dildo)! Love ya! I’ll be back!”

Done reading, I replaced the logs into the cache, and left it all there for the next visitor.

Chapter 4:
Purple Paisley! (The Dental Lab Tech)

A couple of guys had come by, but it seemed that they were out-of-towners just casually trying to check off some local caches to add to their cache count. They did the usual Visitor Log entry and the take-one, leave-one thing. It seemed they were from Canada, as they left trinkets from Ontario and the Canadian side of Niagara Falls.

I traded a magnet from the Maid of the Mist for a golf club-shaped pen from the course where Caddyshack was filmed. For kicks, I also left behind some business cards for my writing and the website you are reading from right now. If we haven’t met in person, you might have to visit Emma’s cache and grab a card!

According to the geocaching website, a few days later another woman stopped by, and I waited to see if she would return. Sure enough, three days later she returned, which fit the pattern for someone who would borrow the dildo under Emma’s honor system. I returned to the swamp to check the logs.

From the Visitor Log:
”Hello! My name is Katie. I’m a dental lab technician and an artist. I borrowed the dildo for three days and had a blast. I’ll leave the details to my entry in the Borrower’s Log. This is the best cache ever, and I congratulate Emma on having such an imaginative and delightful cache, especially for her first attempt at building a geocache. I love it! TFTC!”

And, from the Borrower’s Log:
”Emma, I hope you don’t mind, but as an artist I was inspired to paint a decorative purple paisley design on this beautiful lavender vibrating dildo. Don’t worry, I used 100% safe paints and then sealed it all with seven layers of a biologically-safe clearcoat that resists wear. As a dental lab tech, it’s the same clearcoat I use to protect dental bridges and crowns after I color these to match the wearer’s existing teeth, so you know it’s safe and durable. If this clearcoat can withstand grinding teeth, you can be sure it will withstand all kinds of grinding. (I’ve done this before.)

“I had friends from Oslo, Norway staying with me for a few days, and they really wanted to visit the nude beach. I took the dildo with me, and entertained myself under a beach towel while they swam.

“When we returned to my car, it fell out of my towel onto the back seat, and one of my friends saw it. She looked at the dildo, looked me in the eyes, licked her lips seductively, and winked!

“Needless to say, that night, by the time we had all shared a couple bottles of wine and a fresh set of batteries, I had experienced things I had never imagined. Those Europeans! I’m planning a trip to Norway now, and I’ll have to return to borrow your dildo for the trip! I could bring my own, but bringing yours full circle seems too poetic to pass up. TFTC and TFTD! Love, Katie.

“PS- You’ll notice I never finished mentioning how many friends were visiting, or how many were men, or how many were women. The total number visiting was four. The rest, your imagination can decide. A girl’s got to keep some of her secrets.”

To my surprise, Emma, yes, Emma herself- had visited and left Katie a response.

“Dearest Katie, thank you for your kind words about my first geocache. I love your paisley artwork and enjoyed reading how you made use of my loaner gift. I would definitely love for you to come back and take our dildo to Norway, even though that might take it away for longer than usual. I think travel is of great interest to all of the participants here, and will make for some amazing stories we’ll all love to hear. Thank you, Katie, and to everyone here. Lots of love, Emma.”

Chapter 5:
Googly Eyes! (It Was the Guys’ Turn)

On my next trip, I opened the cache, and upon checking the Visitor’s and Borrower’s Logs, I was quite surprised to find that the last person to borrow the now-famous, now-purple-paisley dildo was a guy.

From the Borrower’s Log:
“Hi Emma, I’m a guy, and my nickname is Rusty, even though I don’t have red hair. (It’s a long story.) I’m the the latest one to borrow your dildo, and I had it for almost a week. I did not use the device for it’s intended use, but instead took it on quite a journey.

“I pasted googly eyes on it, and took it with me to some impressive destinations. I think we all know that before my visit, it was already the most famous and visually distinctive dildo around (thanks to Katie’s talented artwork), but now I’ll bet that it’s the best-traveled dildo around, too.

“I brought it to Mount Rushmore and photographed it at the tourist lookout, with the famous presidential rock sculptures in the background. We got a few stares from some of the tourists, but nothing was going to stop us from commemorating this event.

“Next, we took it to Colorado, where we summited Gray’s Peak (elevation 14,270 feet) and Torrey’s Peak (elevation 14,267 feet) in the same day, taking photos of the dildo at each summit. Did you know that there are 58 “14’ers” (peaks over 14,000 feet) in Colorado? It’s quite a feat to climb even one 14’er, as the oxygen levels at these summits is roughly 50% the amount at sea level, but we were determined to do the Gray’s/Torrey’s tandem in one day. I’ll lay a wager that yours is the only dildo to summit even one 14’er, never mind two on the same day.

“I’ll try to borrow it again someday, as there are still 56 more 14’ers to go. Maybe next time I can do the DeCaLiBron climb… four 14’er summits in one day, one loop. That will definitely break some kind of dildo record.

“I’m leaving some photos here to commemorate your dildo’s journeys. I hope you and your visitors enjoy our efforts. We’ve had a lot of fun. TFTC and TFTD, even though we didn’t use it, per se. See you next time! Love, Rusty.”

I replaced the notebook and saw that the dildo still had the googly eyes attached. I made a donation to the Take One/Leave One trinkets, leaving a souvenir poker chip from the long-defunct Janie’s Ranch whorehouse in Montgomery Pass, Nevada. I took an instant lottery ticket scratcher from the Texas lottery.

Chapter 6:
Gator Bait!

Chapter 7:
Alien Invasion! (She Saw a UFO, and Time Was Lost)

Swamps and UFOs have long gone together, just like cookies and milk. And as I sat down on the now-famous bench to examine Emma’s latest Visitor & Borrower Logs, it seemed like the swamp surrounding her geocache was now no exception.

The latest entry was from a young lady named Amy.

“Dear Emma,
My hand is shaking as I write these words, but I must leave this note. I came to borrow your beautiful dildo but as I took it’s sleek form into my hands, I was distracted by a buzzing noise above the swamp. I peered above and was taken aback by what appeared to be a flying saucer, a UFO! This was no commercial drone, it was too big and saucer-shaped, and it glowed, with no visible propellers or other transport mechanism.

“I stared at it as it hovered above, but the next thing I remember is waking up to a different buzzing noise, the sound of your purple paisley vibrating dildo. I was still sitting on the bench, but now slumped over, and the dildo was vibrating and hopping alongside me on the bench. I reached over to take it back into my hands, and switched it off. It only took me a minute or two to gather my senses, but when I looked at my phone, 45 minutes had elapsed!

“I looked around for evidence but really didn’t find anything. My body and my person did not seem disturbed, and I had no aches or pains, or any evidence at all of being the victim of an alien probe. I’m not sure if the stories of alien probes and abductions are real or not, but I know now that the stories of UFOs and episodes of lost time are real.

“What happened during those lost minutes? I’ll probably never know.

“I called my geologist boyfriend, and asked him to meet me immediately with his Geiger counter. I met him in the parking lot, grabbed the device from him, and told him to stay put. I returned to this bench, and ran the Geiger counter over everything. Luckily, there was no evidence of radiation in or around the dildo, the cache box, or the bench. Maybe the radiation thing is just rumor and urban legend, but I’m happy to report that at least the dildo and cache are free of radioactivity.

“I’m not borrowing the dildo (this time) after all. I lost the mood, and need to reset a bit after this. At least we know it’s still safe for the next person, and I’ll be back later. Hopefully the aliens will leave me alone next time.

“Thank you for everything, Emma! Be well, and TFTC/TFTD!
Love, Amy”

Chapter 8:
An Epic Party!

As could be expected, she postponed the original purpose of her visit, in order to recover from her ordeal. Color me surprised when I returned just two weeks later to find that she had come back sooner than anyone would have imagined!

Here’s what Amy reported this time around.

From the Visitor’s Log:

“Dear Emma,
This is Amy, back sooner than I would have expected. My momentous first visit here was the previous Friday, about 13 days ago. Recovering from my UFO sighting and the episode of lost time, I tried to reenter my usual daily routines, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of always being watched.

I figured it was just my feeling of vulnerability due to what I had been through, and by mid-week I decided to take ownership of my episode in the swamp… and what better way to do that than to throw a UFO-themed costume party for my friends and neighbors! This happened this past weekend, on Friday night.

Before the party, I decided to come here and borrow your purple-paisley vibrating dildo and use it as my party mascot. I built a little spaceship out of foil and cardboard, and I made a tiny silver outfit for the dildo, propping it up to make it look like it was piloting the ship! I placed it front and center on my fireplace mantle, highlighted with some color-changing LED lighting strips I bought on Amazon.

I invited about two dozen people over. My boyfriend and I painted each other’s bodies green, and we dressed up in the finest alien couture available at our nearest costume rental shop. Our guests were spot-on, as all of them really took to the theme and had a lot of fun dressing up as well.

Everything was going great at the party, and I stayed pretty sober due to that disorienting feeling of being watched that I had had all week… and all was well until I realized there was one couple who didn’t seem to belong.

Did another friend bring them? Was it another neighbor that crashed? Was I being paranoid? All I knew was it couldn’t have been a spur-of-the-moment crash (Hey, the neighbors are having a party!) because they were in full makeup and attire.

It was hard to identify everyone because between the costumes, masks, full makeup, and more than two dozen people mingling, it was hard to take stock and place a name to each disguised person. As soon as I would attempt a mental inventory, people would mill around and I would lose count.

My paranoia peaked as I continued to watch this couple that didn’t seem to belong. It took me a few minutes to realize that as they mingled around, they were having what appeared to be complete conversations with people without ever moving their lips. OMG! Were they aliens, conversing via mental telepathy? Our other guests didn’t seem to notice a thing, even the ones who ‘conversed’ with them!

What happened next, I almost can’t put into words. Indeed, I’m embarrassed to put it into words. But here we go. As soon as I came to the realization that this appeared to be an alien couple communicating via telepathy, I lost control of my actions. The best way to describe it, is that I wasn’t high or anything (there were no drugs at this party, and as I said, I was sober), but it’s like I was suddenly not in control of my urges, or my body- like I was tripping without the help of any drugs.

And it wasn’t just me. It was my boyfriend, too. It was every guest at the party, all at once. The last thing I remember before losing consciousness was the party devolving into a rampant sex party, a full-on alien-themed orgy. My last coherent sight was when the suspect couple removed the dildo from its perch on the mantle, and started to pass it around from person to person, amidst a sexy landscape of writhing bodies, and the soundtrack of their attendant moans.

I awoke to the buzzing sound of the dildo again. This time it was buzzing next to me on the floor, which is also where all my (invited) party guests were. It was light outside now, and after checking my phone to see what time it was, I quickly realized that it wasn’t Saturday morning… it was Sunday morning, almost 36 hours later!

I was disoriented, but after a couple of minutes shaking out the cobwebs, I woke up my boyfriend and my party guests. No one could remember anything that happened after the orgy began, and no one could remember or explain how our innocent party devolved into a carnal spectacle. No one could explain the lost time, either.

After everyone left, it struck me that the dildo must have been on, continuously vibrating for these 36 hours. This made me curious, as even the finest alkaline batteries would never last this long. I opened the battery compartment to discover the original human-supplied batteries had been replaced by power sources with strange, indecipherable writing. The aliens must have replaced the batteries with these during that first encounter at the swamp!

I sent my boyfriend outside to torch these alien ‘batteries’ in the barbeque, while I replaced them with good old Earth-made alkaline batteries.

And guess what? Suddenly, the constant, lingering feeling of being watched (ever since my lost time at the swamp) went away.

Ever since we disposed of those alien ‘batteries’, I’ve felt great. I am myself again. To prove it to myself, I’ve even gone to sit with the geocache at the swamp bench for 3 or 4 hours each day this week. No UFOs. No aliens. No weird feeling of being watched. No one has communicated with me telepathically since then either, and there’s been no trace of the unidentified, uninvited party guests.

Asking all of my legitimate party guests after the fact, all anyone could say about the mystery guests was, “I thought you had invited them”- they thought it was an invited neighbor they didn’t know- and they all stated to a person that they did communicate with them without speaking, even though they didn’t realize it at the time.

Most of my guests also mentioned that their muscles were quite sore after the fact… how long could that orgy have lasted? No one could remember.

That’s all I have, Emma. Your beautiful dildo is back where it belongs, no longer under any alien influence at all. TFTC and TFTD, again! Love, Amy”

As for myself, I made my usual entry to the Visitor Log documenting my own visit and searched through the Take One/Leave One trinkets. I took a retired pair of dice from a cruise ship casino, and left behind a bumper sticker from Bub’s BBQ in Sunderland, Massachusetts. “Pig Out in Style!”, the sticker says.

Chapter 9:
The View From the Ship! (All They Did Was Follow the Homing Beacon)

After their appearance at the party, Mister Zll and Miss Zlla were flying, driving their spaceship high in our atmosphere far above the clouds, zipping along to their next destination.

Zll “broke the silence”, conversing in that way that they had, without speaking out loud. “It’s so strange that the resonant frequency of that Earth-human vibrating sex toy was equal to the frequency of our emergency distress beacons! What a false-alarm that was!”

“We sure came a long way for that”, Zlla agreed, “but our two stops here were worth it. The Earth-human copulation was sooooooooo good. The men were great, but the women were incredible.”

“Mmmmm, yes, they certainly were. We’ll need an excuse to come back, won’t we, Zlla?”

They traveled along a bit in silence, reminiscing about that sudden turn Amy’s party took, that turn they created telepathically, until Zlla continued their silent conversation.

“They called it fucking. When I scanned their video media and cultural libraries, I also learned they have an obsession with what they call alien abductions, and in being probed, medically. As if!

“There’s also culture-talk that we would seek to create offspring with them! Hahahahaha! Could you imagine that!”

Zll responded, “They have wild imaginations, then. As if we would ever copulate with them without activating our wireless birth avoidance devices!

“We’re lucky that we have compatible bodies and organs, those vile creatures from the planet Herm could never copulate with these luscious Earth-humans. LOL, as the Earth-humans say!”

“Oh, and you know how bad Herms smell! They stink, those Herms! Hahahahahahahaha!”

That must have been really funny to Zll and Zlla, because this time they actually did laugh out loud.